When I’m done with a workout, I look like hell. When the girl two treadmills down from me is done, she has this mesmerizing glow and her makeup looks remarkably better than when she first walked in. What gives? Well, I’ll tell ya. She’s not working off that muffin she had for breakfast.
But, let me back up. Saturday morning was the first day of fall, or rather was deemed the first day of fall by all of my facebook friends and the numerous tweets trending #firstfallday. This is a day to be celebrated. Brand new season means brand new fashion and brand new treats. Starbucks brings forth the Pumpkin Spice Latte from the Seattle vault, and Dunkin Donuts delights us with the comeback of the Pumpkin Muffin, which happens to be my favorite.
Upon reading the news(feed) and hearing tweets trending Fall, I raced to Dunkin to start my Saturday off right…with a delicious, albeit perfect, Pumpkin Muffin.
It was everything I hoped for. It sat there on the shelf at Dunkin and just stared me down like a hundred dollar bill. I knew I wanted it. My eyes lit up like seeing an old friend. I could not wait for our reunion. While blissfully eating said muffin I had no idea I was being deceived. This muffin was worse for me than having a Big Mac for breakfast. This muffin was half the calories I should consume in the average day. My Pumpkin Muffin was a Big Mac and then some in DISGUISE. The ultimate betrayal.
So, here I am at the gym, working off the 600 calories of deceit, all the while wishing I had the metabolism to support such desires. All this on my mind, while the girl next to me sprints and is somehow managing to read 50 Shades of Grey. Like how is she doing this? How are you reading and running like an Olympian sprinter? Are you even reading???
Some things we’ll never have the answers to. Is this girl really reading? Should 50 Shades of Grey been published? And why for the love of all that is delish… is my pumpkin muffin pumped full of sugar steroids?!
Answer me Dunkin. Or get on the fat free train.