Girl Code Uncoded

Recently I've been hearing a lot about this new show on MTV (well-it's new to me) called Girl Code. Basically they interview guys and gals about style, PDA, guys, and what we do when we call half time at the bar and all rush to the bathroom. I find this show oddly refreshing as I thought at the last Girl Talk summit we decided Girl Code was no longer necessarily something we all followed. You know- only those of us with common decency. But, leave it to MTV to make a television show that I or you could easily have been on. It's like... where are these casting calls?! First I miss Laguna Beach and now Girl Code??? COME ON WORLD.

But regardless of my feelings towards reality television (please give me my own show) I think we should explore the Girl Code that isn't always publicized. You know the Girl Code that we just look at each other and just know what the other is thinking.

So let's begin with the thing we talk to most about. Sorry boys, you come second. It's girls.  As women we love to have a good gab about what's going on with so-and-so and dissect the latest passive aggressive Facebook statuses about ex boyfriends. My favorite is when we post song lyrics like,

"And I don't know what to do, cause I'll never be with you."

First... is this throwback thursday?? Cause James Blunt is circa 2005 and the last time I heard that song I was being dropped off at the movies by my parents. We get it girlfriend, you like him and he doesn't feel the same. We've all been there. But look at it this way- the guys who make you feel like listening to James Blunt-are NOT worth the James Blunt status.  And no matter how many likes you get on Facebook... we all think it's a little sad. #girlcode

When us ladies get dressed in the morning, we rarely take into consideration the thoughts or opinions of our male counterparts. Rather, we dress to impress our fellow female. Why is this? It's because when Shakespeare said "All the world's a stage..." he neglected to mention the critical write ups you can receive after a poorly dressed performance. Girls are worse than Olympic gymnast judges. I mean don't you hate it when you wear an outfit you were already a little iffy on... and then your girlfriends just confirm your fears. 

Now let's turn to the men in our lives. They make us laugh, they make us cry, and they give us some great material should any of us fail at the whole 9 to 5 routine and need to become stand up comedians. The biggest disconnect I have found between guys and girls in terms of proper code is the length of time a text message should be answered. Texting, I would argue, is the best and worst thing to happen to coed relationships. You might laugh, but go ahead and text that guy you met at the bar last weekend and see how long it takes him to respond. After 5 minutes of only getting texts from your mom, you've written off the guy who guessed your favorite drink. I mean... until he texts you back tomorrow. #letsbehonest

Next on my Girl Code revelations is the issue of how much we all weigh. We all think we need to lose ten to twenty pounds. While in reality, all we really need is a good therapist who can correct the toxic media influence we grew up believe in. When I hear my friends claim their immediate need to lose an outlandish amount of weight, and then they proceed to eat a carton of Ben & Jerrys, or order five vodka cranberries, 
I really want to be like, "umm....but I thought you said...."
But you don't, because clearly that would be a violation of Girl Code. Because in reality all we want is to occasionally indulge in some cheese fries and we'll text while walking on the treadmill after. #realtalk

I have to be honest now. I love being a girl, because for all our crazy moments, girls do have one another's backs. [shoutout to my sorority girls] Because if we don't have a united front, there isn't much hope of there ever being a woman President. 

Girl Code is in place as a way of us giving one another a reality and saying...

Are we crazy sometimes? Yeah. Do we call halftime on a Friday to run to the bar bathroom and call some new plays on the hotties by the door? Absofreakinlutely. But we're girls and we own it. After all folks, don't forget who runs the world. 





The Office

Starting a new job is nothing like going to school. So take this blog post and send it to your professors. Sorry academia... but it's not the same. Like at all. You can't stay up late and still function. You can't just skip because well... you felt like taking a morning run along Lake Michigan. It's funny, but bosses don't usually find "I have a cold" as a valid excuse in today's working world. They want a doctor's note my friends, and not one that you forged on the dashboard of your CRV.

I'm on week two of my new job, and although technically I will have started three weeks ago by the end of this week, I say week two because the first week at any job is where you just sit there and pray that no one regrets hiring you. You sit through orientation, you learn the new office culture, and if you're very lucky- you'll make some new friends. For me, setting up my voicemail was something worth bragging about. But overall, the first week at any job is you jumping into a twelve foot deep pool and telling yourself not to drown. Everything seems like it's moving at the speed of light and your head is spinning, wondering how fast you'll catch up. Sleep becomes a rarity as your mind is racing with a giant truck of new knowledge and a growing list of things to-do.

It's funny how the a job in the same industry (I work in fashion) can be so different. For example, learning the terms that are used can send you into a frenzy.When I was visiting my boyfriend overseas, I poked fun at the military way of making everything known to man an acronym. By the end I wanted to scream,

"Not everyone knows what BX and PT stand for!"

Like seriously just say the words folks. I have a growing suspicion that half of those acronyms don't even stand for anything. But... I fear I'm a hypocrite because even in the fashion industry we do not have the time to say the words. We make an acronym out of everything as well. And learning all of these at a new office can sometimes mean making a secret glossary in the back of your notebook. Have I done this? Maybe.

An executive at my former company used to say, 

"It takes three months before you know what you're doing." 

And for that kernel of knowledge I am forever grateful. Because otherwise we would all feel like we should have never been hired in the first place. When you really get down to it, it's not the day in and day out nuisances that make starting a new job challenging-it's everything that comes with it. It's the constant swallowing of newness. From where you're allowed to park, to how you file your expenses, there's a process in place that you know nothing about.  It's learning where to find all the information you need, because at the end of the day, you do know how to analyze it.  

And really... it's the process of accepting you need to learn something new. When you first start your new job, you do a lot of nodding, as if to yes, "yes I understand..." when really you're thinking, "this seems a titch overwhelming..."

But the best part of starting a new job? You grow. Without the changes I've made and the risks I've taken, I would not be at the point in my career that I am now and I wouldn't want it any other way. A good friend of mine always says, "There's a reason there aren't a hundred Steve Jobs." And it's because taking a leap of faith and trusting in yourself and your abilities can be the scariest thing any of us have or will ever do. Learning to believe in yourself is this best thing you can take away from a new beginning. If you learn nothing else, that's the one task you'll want to cross off your new to-do.

So as I begin week two at my new job, I look to this chapter as one that will offer many lessons, and probably a few awkward moments along the way. Every corporate office is like it's own little country, operating with it's own social norms and rules. Just be patient and one day you too will be a local. And if you have to nod a little excessively for the first week... don't worry- I'm not judging.




Challenge Accepted

I'm going down, follow if you want....I won't just hang around, to get started it's all uncharted..

Sara Bareilles says it best. I've moved away from the town that I love more than coffee, and I am happy to report that I am doing just fine. The first night in the new place I had a mild freak out when I realized that anywhere I wanted to go would require GPS, but since then the friendly voice on my iPhone has become a dear friend and social life provider.  Thank you Siri. When I received my keys to my new apartment, my leasing agent asked if I had dinner plans and proceeded to give me directions to some restaurants. Upon seeing my blank stare she paused and asked, "Oh you know where Such-and-Such Street is right?" I sadly shook my head and replied, "Um, I have no idea where I am right now." Dramatic? Maybe. But when you move out of state it's how you feel for the first month or two. I mean this has been my face every time I hear of a new place.

There is something thrilling and horrifying about the constant newness that comes from moving to a new city. Nothing is familiar and you get lost on a regular basis. Having to make a new name for yourself while constantly saying, "Nice to meet you," makes you self reflect in a way that just doesn't happen while living at home. It's a challenge but I'm feeling pretty good about it.

In a way I feel like Jim Carey in "Yes Man." Every invitation, every idea, and every opportunity I am saying yes to. Because for the first time I am out on my own without a safety net. The pressure of not wanting to fail is not as intimidating as one would think, because I've already done the scariest thing so far, and that was saying "See you soon" to the best friends I have ever known.  

People say starting over is exhausting which is true, but more than anything it is energizing and jump starts the heart. It is the best high I've ever felt. Better than falling in love or graduating college, moving away and starting over is the bravest thing I have ever done. My head is reeling with ideas, thoughts, and questions. I feel myself discovering more about myself in the last ten days than I have in the last ten years. Driving home from my first day on the job, with my radio at full blast, along with my AC (it's actually quite hot here) I felt an unexpected sense of peace that made me realize I'm where I am supposed to be. And isn't that what it's all about?

My dad always told me, "Don't tell me- SHOW me." It's one thing to talk a good game, but words pale in comparison to the goals we accomplish. Only then can we say,

Now I'm not saying all of this is easy, after all- I'm only ten days deep. But I am looking to the days ahead with a knowing smile that everything will be alright.  I feel confident that I can handle and take in stride the obstacles ahead of me, because I have the best support system. I have friends who say yes over no and to them I offer a never-ending thank you, because you have enabled me to be brave.  Life isn't supposed to be comftorable- save that for retirement. Try new things and push yourself. If you fail, then you are in good company my friends. Because failure and fear teaches perseverance. You never know what the world is going to remember you for. We, the Millenials are capable of anything.  I mean... I think we're already pretty awesome, we invented Facebook and have a Kid President. So let's get out there and...